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Produce Employee Girl at Sprouts S. Lamar m4w Please read this and help us. If you know the beautiful produce girl at Sprouts whose name is Airis, she is an integral part of my dreams (well, she could be, as soon as I go to bed tonight. I mean, I might dream of her. You never know).
Who is this girl? There is a beautiful girl who works the produce section at Sprouts. No, not the half-awake stoner young blonde girl, she works the cash register. No, not the thin red head who always sings and dances to the overhead music - though she is cool. Airis works produce, has black hair and the most beautiful smile and uhm, I can not remember more details - who cares about the details.
If I were a married man, I would love to cheat on my wife with Airis. In fact, I think I am going to find a girlfriend right now, get hot and heavy by midnight so that tomorrow I can go into Sprouts and violate all my scruples by flirting with Airis. I will then return home to the new girlfriend and dump her for Sprouts girl (Airis).
Sprouts girl and I will then totally get hot and heavy. She will see that I am willing to love her just on the basis of seeing her smile and wash vegetables over the last year.. Even if she turns out to be a piece of shit in real life, it is too late because I love her. I will even figure out where the real land of Sprouts is (the green images used in the logo) and buy her a ticket there so we can make love there forever. I am kidding, I totally know that there is no land ed Sprouts and I don't think I would want to have sex there as that would be rude since that's people's food. You know? Also, maybe Airis won't be that into me. Also, I don't like the expression "making love," as it seems too sanitized, like something they might say on the Brady Bunch to not offend puritanical, conservative (dumb) audiences. Airis and I would invent our own language to describe how our bodies become one. That sounds gay too. Strike that phrase. We can make up something together Airis. OK?.
Airis, I feel that at this point in the dialog it is your turn to speak up and tell me how you feel about me.
I am waiting.
Hello?
I can't do this alone Airis.
Airis, why do you torment me like this? Were you put on this planet to be so elusive and beautiful?
Forget it. It is over Airis. I may love you, but I don't pine after girls that are hot unless they show me some attention. Anyhow, who 'pines' anymore?
So you are hot. Big deal. A lot of girls are hot. Even in this dumb hippy town. You have to do better than that to get my attention. I mean, geesh. What gives?
Look Airis, I don't think we should talk anymore. I don't think this is healthy. I wish you the best in all that you seek but I can not be 'that' guy. You know? I am sorry if that hurts you but it is time you started opening your eyes to other guys. Guys who are not me. Maybe me sometime, let's catch up. Ok?
OK?
Airis?
AIRIS?
What have I done? I have lost the one girl in this world who really [potentially might have if we were to have actually met] understood me. Airis?! Wherever you are - I need you to listen to me. I fucked up. I was wrong. You are not just another hot girl. You are the hottest girl on S. Lamar, maybe even S. Congress too, even past Ben White!. That's a large swath of town.
Did you hear me? I said you were the hottest girl in a large swath of town. Fine. You are the most beautiful girl in Austin.
Please, don't do this to me. Talk to me Airis. Tell me it is ok. Tell me it will be good between us, like how it was at the beginning of this post. I will do whatever it takes, just give us a chance. Don't give up on us after what we have been through.
If anyone knows Airis, please let her know that I will take her back, baggage and all and I will make the bad thoughts go away.
I love my Sprouts girl. Because she has the most beautiful smile that lights up the store when she says "Good Morning." Beautiful older ladies wants orgasm Vermont